It’s true, we all aren’t made available to the same options. I think we’re all susceptible to fear, though, when we can choose to not be.
Break of Dawn
Childish Gambino & Thundercat
I’ve killed myself one million times with just my mind, my thoughts. I continue to live through the irrational nature of hope.
Bank Head feat. Kelela
Verticle XL (2013)
I used to have a really big fear of being forgotten. Of being forgotten by people I care about or that I believe care about me. I realized it defined a part of me, one piece of me that decidedly lived in the past in order to stop the future from changing what made me happy.
It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized it was something that paralyzed me so badly. I’ve been getting better about it. However long others choose to be in your presence isn’t a decision laid solely on you; it’s a group effort that only shows progress with time. Playing a game of pity and blame justifies nothing.
There is always going to be a part of me that chooses to hold on to memories. I don’t believe it’s my job to suppress that feeling. I’m working on figuring out what to bring along with me in the present, as I’m sure everyone else is. I’m working on discovering what the constants are in this equation; I suppose I’m getting closer to an answer since I’ve learned it’s not the moments from the past.
I don’t like being afraid to do things. It’s a crippling habit to somehow convince yourself you don’t really want something because you’re scared of what will happen if you fail.
Will Smith says he got into the habit of mentally attacking a situation he would normally shy away from. He cites a “fear of fear” as his motivation toward those types of situations.